The paradox of God!

...in a song...



And the paradox of the prophet...

And I said: ‘Woe is me! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!’

Then one of the seraphs flew to me, holding a live coal that had been taken from the altar with a pair of tongs. The seraph touched my mouth with it and said: ‘Now that this has touched your lips, your guilt has departed and your sin is blotted out.’ Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I; send me!’ Isaiah 6: 5-8

There's something scary but enlivening about being totally aware of your real self in God's presence and then responding to His love and grace as Isaiah and the other prophets did. We must die in order to live more fully in God.

And when you do respond, this is what you often find...

"O Lord, you have enticed me, and I was enticed;
you have overpowered me, and you have prevailed.
I have become a laughing-stock all day long; everyone mocks me.

For whenever I speak, I must cry out, I must shout, ‘Violence and destruction!’
For the word of the Lord has become for me a reproach and derision all day long.

If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name’, then within me there is something like a burning fire shut up in my bones;
I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot." Jeremiah 20: 7-9

Oh which way to turn next?!
Paradoxes everywhere!
The joy and despair, the peace and pain, the love and hate,
the rest and restlessness, the life and death.
Oh the relentless pursuit, the endless dance!

All you can do is keep throwing yourself on His grace and mercy again and again, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute...