A Beautiful Service

Its been a week of funerals for me, but amid the loss and sadness, there has been some new growth in my life.  For the first funeral, the coffin was brought into church the night before for a short service of prayers.  It was a beautiful, simple service, as was the actual funeral the next day.  It seemed to be extra special as the interment took place in the churchyard too, as opposed to undergoing a further journey elsewhere.

I’m not good at funerals; I usually end up an emotional wreck – which isn’t ideal considering that I may sometime in the near future be asked to preside at these services.  I talked over this with the Reader who led this first funeral.  He spoke about how wonderful it is to take funerals and what a privilege it is too.  Something clicked in my thinking during that conversation – I also see funerals as beautiful, even if sad occasions, so what is it about them which seems to upset me so much?

I knew it was nothing to do with death or any apparent hopelessness of the occasion, it isn’t even the sadness.  It wasn’t until I thought about exactly when during funerals I begin to ‘lose it’ that it dawned on me – it is when I see the coffin actually being carried – for the rest of the service I’ll be fine. 

It struck me that the final act of kindness and love that one can perform for a loved one is to bear them to their final resting place…

It’s the beauty of witnessing this simple act which moves me to tears.

Following the second funeral of the week, I was chatting with a work colleague – one who has never ‘darkened the doors of a church’ in their life.  I mentioned that I might be presiding at funerals in the near future to which, with eyes lit up and a big smile and (I confess) to my great surprise, they replied “That will be fantastic, it must be so great to do such a beautiful service.”  When I aired the concern about my ‘emotional suitability’ they gave me a very practical viewpoint – they actually think it wouldn’t matter all that much – in fact, it might be helpful to a grieving family to see that the person taking the service can show compassion with them.  The jury is still out on this final point but on the whole, what useful insights I’ve gained this week – so much so that I actually don’t feel as nervous about funerals any more.